Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Rent-A-Tent Holiday Inn

Good morrow, it's Dr.Sam Kirby, head of the Queensland Institute of Social Physics here, and I'm here to remind you all that if you're bored over the remainder of this school year, I have compiled a list of fun things to do that neither require large amounts of money or specialist tools.
  • If you're one of those upper class people that have a ceiling fan in your own room (oh la di daa), then collect every bouncy object you can (preferably the well known 'bouncy balls'), place them in a container or, if you're one of those larger people, you're hands, and stand yourself next to the fan switch. Switch the ceiling fan onto a high setting, but ONLY FOR 3 SECONDS. I must stress how important this is, because you are only setting it on high just to get the fan spinning at an adequate speed! Do NOT show off by switching it straight from 0 to the highest setting and leave it there, as it will only end in tears. Okay, now that you have started the fan up, change immediately to a lower gear, and leave it for a minute or two just to keep the revs going, and once you're happy with it, THEN change it to the highest speed. Take your bouncy objects (or any other object really, it doesn't matter) and proceed to throw them all into the fan. Next, do not stare directly at the fan, as chances are you will experience repeated blows to the head from the miscellaneous items, and the least you can do is protect your eyes. Now the process is complete, and all you have to do is lay back and watch. If boredom persists, repeat process.
  • If you have a cat or a dog, make a salad and throw it at them. That way you won't have to eat the salad, and you'll enjoy yourself as you watch the lovable expressions on your pets face as they think to themselves "Wtf... salad".
  • An amusing game to play is "Spark Plug: You're it!". For this, all you need is any old spark plug. Take the spark plug and find somebody who'll play with you. Then, take aim and throw the spark plug, making sure it hits this person. When they shout "Who the hell are you?" or "What the hell did you just throw at me?", then you must yell "SPARK PLUG!" and then run away. You may need to have more than one spark plug because sometimes they don't throw it back.

On closer inspection it just appears that all of these games involve throwing things at other things. So basically if you're bored, just do that.

If you have any further questions on these games, please feel free to write to SAM NEEDS A HOBBY/LIFE, LOCKED BAG 4031, QLD


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