Friday, September 02, 2005

Exit Strategy

Well gentlepeople it's that time of year again. I want out. Screw the long term. I'm going to go buy myself a bus, fill it full of petrol, and drive that sucker all around Australia for 5 years, meeting lots of interesting people and getting into adventures that always end up with me getting punched in the neck. All on a learners license. During my adventures I will always meet up with someone who has a brilliantly down to earth philosophy on life, which enriches my own self being and allows me to come away with life changing information which I will share to the rest of the world once the 5 years is up or I come home cause i'm bored. After my Austalian tour i'm going to take my year 12 business plan I did and actually set up and start the roller disco, then once I get that rolling I'll sell it, make a little profit, then use that money to buy myself a laptop. Using the laptop i'm going to start writing a few short novels about a boy who finds love when he discovers a hidden cave at the beach which is actually the house of an old woman who makes the best pasta sauce in the world, with hilarious results. Once the book deal clears up and I start making a few sales, I'm going to use that money to buy myself the rights to the fictional creature which is the unicorn, so from then on every written or spoken source in the world will have to say that I, Sam Kirby, created the unicorn by staring a little too hard at a piece of nutrigrain one morning and getting the picture of a horned white horse in my head. After the success and fame wears off from the unicorn ride, I'm going to change my name to Gordan Trefflone and then I'm going to track down someone who I'd gone to highschool with, ask them how they've been going and what they've been doing since I last saw them, and then i'm going to scream "WELL I'M GORDAN TREFFLONE BABY, AND AT LEAST I'M DOING THINGS WITH MY LIFE" and then i'll break off into a broadway rendition of a lameass Nickelback song, then i'll scuttle off and buy an icecream, maybe catch a movie and go home, where I will change my name back to its original state. When I reach the tender fillet chicken breast age of 43 i'm going to get a tattoo of a guinea pig that will cover the majority of my upper torso, cause they're so cute and innocent, yet if you catch them in the right light they look devilish. And then for the rest of my life I'll probably tour Australia again, maybe do a few more blog posts, become a flying nun etc. The usual. Cyas.

2 Comments:

Blogger Dave said...

LAUGHING HURTS THE THROAT:( but that was funny, and almost the most random thing ever. fuck it, it is. :)

9:39 AM  
Blogger eriiic said...

:|

8:12 PM  

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